Business is a brutality to creative work. The apple tree has to hike up its roots to walk itself to market to sell the apples; the pig walks to the slaughter house on his day off; the golden goose is dead. The truth might be that you first agree on a price for your soul, make that transaction, and with whatever you have left you work with. Be the wise person and get a job that pays well and do the nice things on the weekend. It’s easier to beat yourself up about being a hack than it is to wave a torch on your doorstep every night to keep the wolves away. There is no dignity in death. Get a YouTube channel. You are a boat, a big fat trawler. Gather eyeballs, make friends, start a kickstarter and get them to drink the koolaid before they get distracted. Good will farmer.